First day jitters.....for me, not them!

Today is the first day of school.  So bittersweet for me.  Last week I recognized that everyone was ready to get back on a normal routine, and that school starting would be good for everyone.  It helped that our kids were super excited, they got great teachers, and that it started to rain.  All good signs that summer vacation could end and we would be ok.  On the other hand, I have really enjoyed having my big kids home this summer.  We’ve done some really fun things, but even better than that is that I feel like I got to know them a little better.  Aside from the vacations and bbqs and camping trips, I enjoyed spending time with Jacey in the kitchen, helping her learn how to cook and accepting the fact that she’s begging and ready for more responsibility.  She can use the sharp knives.  She can take things out of the oven.  This new independence in the kitchen opened my eyes to what a great, responsible kid she is becoming.  She spent this summer cooking dinners, helping with Camden, and entertaining Sadie….all on her own accord.  I tried very hard not to take advantage of her helpfulness, but I really am overwhelmed with gratitude for such a great oldest child.

And then there’s Broden…. I don’t know if there were ever two children that had more different personalities, and yet I couldn’t love him more.  Broden is bursting with personality, and it spills over into everything he says and does.  He is Mr. Social, and has no problem striking up a conversation with anyone, anywhere.  He is an incredible reader, but doesn’t get lost in novels like Jacey.  Instead, he’ll spend hours poring over non-fiction, science-y, encyclopedia-ish type books.  And I swear he memorizes everything he reads.  We’ll be at the park and he’ll find a bug and tell me this specific ant is actually a leaf-cutter ant, or that the grasshopper he caught is actually a spur-throated grasshopper, followed by telling me what it eats and more random facts than I could ever imagine knowing about a bug.  He is the first to push the limits at home, yet the most sincere and affectionate as well.

This great summer came to an end last night with back-to-school night when it was time to go meet the teachers.  First we met Jacey’s 4^th grade teacher, who is great.  She is kind and encouraging, and easy to talk to.  I think she will be the perfect personality to be able to get underneath Jacey’s sweet, shy first impression and pull great things out of her.  I’m optimistic for a great year, and I am looking forward to hearing Jacey’s report of the first day of school.  I always miss her during the day, but she is almost 10 (eek!), and I am daily having to accept the fact that she’s getting older.  I have no doubt she will do great and her teacher will love her, and she will be surrounded by friends, both old and new, just like every other year.

I’m going to go out on a limb and say that I think the first day of first grade is my least favorite day of elementary school.  It has been so far with Jacey, and I’m not loving it with Broden either.  His teacher is fabulous. It has nothing to do with her and everything to do with me.  Jacey had her for reading when she was in 1^st grade, and Broden walked up to her class for reading last year.  We know her well.  I am completely comfortable with her.  Broden is thrilled to have her all day this year.  He’s excited to be there.  I am just not excited to have him gone all day.  It’s so long away from home, and I don’t like it.  When we went to his classroom last night for back-to-school night, this is what I said: “Hi!  How was your summer?  Broden is so excited to be in your class again!  We were so happy when we saw you were going to be his teacher!”  It’s all true.  But this is what I wanted to say:  “Do you know how lucky you are?  Do you know how much I love this kid?  Broden makes friends easily and will probably be a little chatty at times, especially at first.  Do what you need to do to maintain a good learning atmosphere in your classroom, but please love him and recognize he has a good heart.  Broden loves reading and will probably be able to recite everything that he’s read to you, but writing and coloring are not his favorite things to do.  Please encourage him, and help him understand why it’s important even if he doesn’t love it, but along the way please praise him for the many things he does well.  His heart will burst with pride when he hears you tell him that he is doing well.  Broden loves learning new things, and at times may burst out with an answer at an inappropriate time and forget to raise his hand.  We’re working on that, and we fully support anything you can do to help us with that.  But please don’t squash that excitement for learning and sharing the things he knows.  His confidence and excitement for learning are two of our favorite things about him.  Above all else, please understand this:  I have been working my tail off for 6 years now to teach him the lessons that are most important in life…far more important than any curriculum.  I’ve been trying to teach him first and foremost that he is a child of God, and that He loves him more than anyone.  I’ve been trying to teach him that we love him on his happy days, his sad days, his obedient days, his naughty days, his hyper days, his frustrating days, and all the days in between.  I’ve been trying to teach him that even when he makes choices that make him unhappy (because he will!)  that he can make those right and we will love him and help him learn how to be happy again.  I’ve been trying to teach him to be kind, brave, honest, compassionate, and helpful.  I’ve been trying to teach him to choose the right, even when it’s hard.  And I know he’s only 6 and we have time to continue teaching him these lessons at home.  Don’t worry, we will.  I’ve also worked hard to shelter him from all the yucky stuff in the world.  I know you can’t control what kind of junk other kids are exposed to and what they bring to school.  I know these situations create teaching moments at home, and they are lessons that need to be learned eventually. But frankly, it freaks me out that my child is spending more of his waking hours during the week with you and his peers than he is with me.  I knew it was going to happen sooner or later, and since it had to happen I am confident that you will be a positive influence in his life.  Please be careful with his tender heart.  Please don’t take my child lightly.  He is my son and I love him, but even more than that I know he is God's son and I have been trusted to teach him how special he is and how great he can become.  Now I'm trusting you.  Please hug him if he feels bad because he thinks he let you down, and please continue to make him feel he is capable of doing anything  he puts his mind to, because I have no doubt in the world that he is.”

And that is what I wish I could have said….